'Don't come back': Opportunistic employee goes home early when a scheduled fire drill makes management second-guess their instructional wording

Managerial ultimatums are never a good idea. Often taken out of context or as a display of power, a workplace ultimatum can get lost in translation, leading to a trip down the hall to the HR office or a completely misunderstood instruction. And when it comes to a fire drill in the workplace, management can't afford to make mistakes that could cost them their precious data, because without that 200% success rate, who are the shareholders going to congratulate? 

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  • This employee was full of snarky energy and decided to use their manager's unclear ultimatum to their advantage. Understanding that they had a workplace fire drill coming up, they listened carefully—a little too carefully—the the instructions over the P.A. system. “If you leave the property during the drill, don't bother coming back."

    Well, well, well, you got it, boss! Perhaps it was the extra dash of sass in their morning cold brew or the audacity of testing the limits, but this employee decided to take this ultimatum and turn it into a half-day at the office!

  • Cheezburger Image 10517076224
    via Andrel Nekrasov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • They said if you leave during the fire drill, don't come back, so i went home for the day
    via IndependentSigns
  • We had a fire drill at work last week. Before it started, the announcement came over the PA: "If you leave the property during the drill, don't bother coming back" it was 2:00 in the afternoon. my box was quiet,
    via IndependentSigns
  • meetings were done, and my car was parked two blocks away. So when the alarm went off and we all filed outside, I just kept walking. went straight to my car and drove home. Next day, my
    via IndependentSigns
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  • manager asked why I left. I said, "They told us not to come back if we left" he blinked for a second, then said nothing. I was just following instructions, and enjoying an early end to my Tuesday.
    via IndependentSigns
  • notclientfacing "The plant called, they said if you don't come in tomorrow don't bother coming back on Monday" "Woohoo! Four day weekend!"
    via notclientfacing
  • LindonLilBlueBalls This is like my company saying we could leave straight from the Christmas party and didn't need to come back to the office. So I went, ate some food, and left within an hour of getting there.
    via LindonLilBlueBalls
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  • Come Monday so many people asked where I was for the remaining 3 hours of the party. Like, why would I hang out with them on a Friday afternoon when I could beat traffic and get home to my family?
    via LindonLilBlueBalls
  • spacebuggles ⚫ I would have interpreted "don't bother coming back" as "if you do this, you're fired".
    via spacebuggles
  • KrisClem77. Gotta be careful here. You manager could have easily said, "yeah I heard that, so why did you come back today?"
    via KrisClem77
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  • LLD615. My company had a fire drill one day 30 minutes before the end of the day. We were stuck outside past the close of business. The next week there was another one so I brought all my stuff. The head of the company saw me and laughed and said "you're smart, have a good night!"
    via LLD615
  • moeichi ⚫ At my old company that required us to do timesheets, one time we had a fire alarm go off and everyone had to wait around outside for over an hour. So I ended up putting it on my timesheet as part of the workday haha.
    via moeichi

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